In the fantasy epic that is American politics, anti-democratic morbid wealth accumulation is the flaming Eye of Sauron looming over us all. Its power grows daily, whispering sweet nothings into the ears of hedge fund managers, tech billionaires, and media funders. And standing at the foot of flaming Mount Late Stage Capitalism are two great factions, Democrats and Republicans. Both corportized who wear fortune 500 brand logos like Nascar drivers, neither of whom seem interested in throwing the One Ring of concentrated wealth into the fire.
In struggling working class middle Earth, we have a Republican lite right of center DNC party that, even though they are more pro-democratic and speak in we hear your pain language regarding the injustices of that working class, generally doesn't want to rock the boat regarding oligarchy and truly do what's require to fix structural problems. Not to mention constantly undermine its progressive wing and be more conservative than Europe's left leaning parties. Then we have a far right wing as humanly possible wanna be fascist batshit crazy theocratic idiocracy red cult of weirdos whose goal is to destroy the American middle class through austerity and thus our democratically elected constitutional republic who will not stop until very few psychopathic oligarchic robber barons can return the country to an iron age / gilded age period where women had virtually no rights and both you and your young children have to slave work in coal mines. So you either get slightly regressive or stagnate at best, or hardcore backwards regression when in reality we need a progressive revolution beyond the likes of which we have never seen. Which we last did in the social contract that America introduced in the 1930's after the great depression, which gave new fuel to the working class.
So for this one, we'll call the blue party halfway to, using a Lord of the Rings Reference, the Nazgûl (which are servants bound to the power of the One Ring and completely under Sauron's control, but in this case, switch that out to American Empire and Godzillionaire oligarchic control). As they donate to both parties - the slightly nicer ones to the blue, and the more asshole ones to the red. So one of these things is worse than the other, but the better one still often sucks. That's where we're at as a result of losing classical Greek philosophical liberal arts education which taught people to teach themselves, and if they continue to apply it, become wizard philosophers and individuals of the enlightenment. But imperial deregulated authoritarian corportists don't want an educated informed working class. So let’s summarize: Republicans are full-blown Nazgûl. Democrats? Half-Nazgûl, at best. Slightly more moisturized. Less hissing. But still way too into the Ring.
If you squint, today’s Republican Party has basically merged with the Ring itself. They don’t just avoid fixing wealth inequality—they ride ethereal ghost-horses made of tax breaks and deregulation. They are the Witch-King's of Wall Street, gliding through the halls of power whispering, “The most wealthy shall pay no taxes, at least while I still draw breath (or at least vague electrical pulses).” They believe that Trickle-down economics isn’t a failed theory—it's a sacred prophecy, Billionaires should be worshiped like dragons, not regulated like monopolies, Any attempt to close a loophole is Communism in a trench coat. Their job is to redistribute as much money as possible to the fewest shittiest people possible. Sauron would be proud.
Non-progressive Democrats are a bit different. They are the Nazgûl Who Went to therapy who still wear the black robes—but they sometimes accessorize with "Tax the Rich" lapel pins. They’ll stand on a debate stage, tearfully proclaiming the need for economic justice, then quietly co-sign the next billionaire space subsidy before lunch. They’re like Ringwraiths who took one online class in ethics and now think they’ve broken the curse. They still show up to the fortress of Barad-D.C., but now they bring PowerPoint slides and carefully polled language. They think Billionaires are “a concern,” but not enough to actually legislate against them, Wealth taxes are fine, as long as they won’t pass, blatantly obvious campaign finance reform is a noble goal—just not one they’ll remember after brunch. In other words: they’ll write you a thinkpiece about the Ring’s corrupting influence... then tuck it in their pocket and head off to a fundraiser by those who fly in private jets.
This economic comparison between half awful and full awful is mirrored not just in not representing "We The People" but instead "We The Oligarchs" economically, but also in the two parties' behavior toward supporting the genocidal settler colonial state that is Israel that's fueled by dark Imperial hate Christianity which want their bullshit messiah to return. Which we're going to get more into in our series on calling out the American Empire. Where you either get half Palestinian genocide or full Palestinian genocide. How about no Palestinian genocide? On a side note, this is why we find it hilarious when on rare occasions we are called partisan, as we're not even a Democrat, but one could call us a Berniecrat. As there is very little Bernie Sanders, one of the best politicians on spaceship Earth, and a non koo koo independent like ourselves, who's not as under Sauron's control, has said that we don't agree with. Because, while both parties wring their hands and polish their Black Rider boots, one worse than the other, the rest of us, the Hobbits working two jobs, if you will—are trying to afford a modest studio apartment in the Shire while Two James Bond villains with cock rockets who want to build privatized volcano layers on Mars have more wealth than the bottom 50% of the United States households combined and are given front row seats at a criminal Anti-American president's inauguration.
After decades of stupidity and eye rolling being told to “pull ourselves up by our hairy little bootstraps,” even as private equity buys the Shire, big ugly full Nazgul bills move forward and pass, benevolent ghost in the machine AI is not allowed to be regulated, and magical rent-hiking algorithms continue. Gandalf left, Samwise is unionizing, and Frodo sold his ring on Etsy just to pay off student loans and medical expense bills.
Let’s be real: The One Ring is wealth mis-distribution accumulation without limits. It rots and corrupts and makes those who do so seem invisible to the Internal Revenue Service. It accelerates dysfunction even in the well-meaning. It whispers to every politician: “Campaign contributions... Super PACs... Speaking fees…” and the only way to destroy it? The full Nazgûl party is gone, to never return and a better more progressive working class party must evolve out of the half Nazgûl party. Which continues to support what the majority of people want - Serious structural reform and sensible tax policy. Such as taxing and regulating the Ring, melting down inheritance loopholes while we’re at it, and best of all completely revoking the tax exempt status of the dark imperial full Nazgul Christian Nationalist Supremacist dogshit mega churches which all have Sauren eyes burning above their spires. But to do that, you need to continue to build a Fellowship of democracy defending Rebel scum with courage who are elected for speaking truth from the heart like we do. So remember: when you vote, you’re not just choosing between red and blue. You’re choosing between full Nazgûl and half Nazgûl. Both wear the Ring. One is better than the other, but needs to stop holding back its better half.